When Bullying Feels Good

We are all bullies. I know I have certainly bullied others, and this week’s installment of Way Too Complicated was an exploration of why bullying—or making someone else suffer—seems to feel good at first. Here’s an excerpt:

“I know that I existed in fear for years, and still live in fear often. I know because the last time I bullied someone is not some distant memory like [the restaurant incident I recounted]; it was last year, when an ex-staff member’s (objectively not very good) execution of an event prompted a deep-seated fear of being exposed as a giant fraud, of my own credentials as a professional being catastrophically undermined. I didn’t want to feel insecure or worthless, yet there they were curling in my stomach, and I desperately wanted someone else to feel the same ugly way that I did.”

Swipe for some more quotes from the piece, and you can read the full newsletter for free here: https://waytoocomplicated.substack.com. I’m currently trying to hit my first 1,000 subscribers, so if you enjoyed this piece please share it with a friend! (Or, even better, send it to someone who bullied you, or you bullied.)